How Leaders Can Move Past Personal Obstacles

The poet Walt Whitman famously wrote, “Do I contradict myself? / Very well then I contradict myself, / (I am large, I contain multitudes.).” He recognized that our minds are not monolithic but composed of multiple, interdependent parts that operate in a dynamic relationship. Just as our bodies function as complex living systems with many organs playing a role in keeping us healthy and adaptive, our minds are composed of conscious and unconscious parts that function in a dynamic relationship with one another.  

Insights from psychotherapy have profoundly influenced how we think about leadership and organizational culture. Emotional intelligence and psychological safety both began as clinical concepts before psychologist Daniel Goleman and Harvard professor Amy Edmondson, respectively, put them on the map as essential to leadership. The idea that the mind as comprising multiple parts with an integrative self at the center is not uncommon in management and leadership theory.  MIT Sloan’s Deborah Ancona and leadership expert and executive coach Dennis Perkins have shown that “ghosts” from past childhood experiences influence how executives lead.1 (Ancona’s book on “family ghosts” at work will be published next year.) London Business School professor Herminia Ibarra writes in her book Working Identity that “we are not one true self but many selves and that those identities exist not only in the past and present but also, and most importantly, in the future.”

There are many tools to help students and executives bring unconscious patterns and habits into conscious awareness, where they can take charge of their present behaviors and future development as leaders.

The Internal Family Systems Methodology.  Originally developed in the 1980s as a clinical therapy model by one of us (Richard), Internal Family Systems (IFS) offers leaders a simple framework for accessing and working with their inner parts to achieve greater functionality and flourishing, personally and professionally.  Six-step IFS process are:  

Our inner parts function as distinct subpersonalities, influencing how we think, feel, and act. One part may want to avoid conflict, another may want to push hard for results, and another may prefer to simply escape. Leaders often experience this as inner tugs-of-war. Recognizing that we all have these parts and that they often disagree is the first step toward deeper self-understanding in leadership.

Perhaps the most important principle behind IFS is the idea that all parts are trying to help us — even the ones whose behaviors we dislike. No part is inherently “bad.”  IFS suggests that these parts are trying to serve a purpose — whether protecting against perceived threats, fulfilling old survival vows, or motivating us through fear. The behavior may be unhelpful, but the underlying drive is not malicious. Based on decades of clinical experience, Richard has found that once these parts are truly heard, appreciated, and relieved of their burdens, they can completely transform. Inner critics can become wise advisers, workaholics can turn intowor reasonable motivators, and rageful parts can set healthy boundaries.

Leaders don’t have to (and should not) indulge in every impulse that arises from within, but they can learn to listen and respect their parts’ underlying positive intentions. A common adage in IFS is “All parts are welcome; all behaviors are not.” We must be able to draw firm boundaries around harmful behaviors while continuing to explore our underlying motivations.

For leaders, this insight is powerful. By shifting from judgment to curiosity about their own inner voices, they not only reduce inner conflict but also build the muscle to extend that same compassion and discernment outward — to colleagues, teams, and organizations.

Like Jung’s theory of mind, IFS contains the idea of a core organizing force in the psyche called the self. The self is like an orchestra conductor — a calm and centered presence guiding our parts to work together harmoniously and developing each one’s potential so that together they can express the best of who we are.  IFS describes self-led leadership as having eight recognizable qualities (known as the 8 C’s): compassion, curiosity, clarity, creativity, calmness, confidence, courage, and connectedness. When these qualities are present, it signals that a person is leading from the self, not from a reactive part. In high-pressure moments, a leader grounded in self can hold contradictory evidence or objectives, resist panic, and take decisive action rather than being directed by anxious or controlling parts.

A Guide to Using IFS in Leadership.  Understanding the three core IFS principles — that our minds comprise multiple parts, that no parts are bad, and that we can develop access to our wiser self to guide them — gives leaders a new perspective on their inner conflicts. It provides a starting point for learning from their parts and responding to challenges with steadier action.  To put these principles into practice, IFS practitioners guide individuals through a process to identify the parts of themselves that are active in each situation, approach them with curiosity and compassion, and help shift them into healthier roles. This process unfolds in two stages: becoming aware of the part and forming a new relationship with the part. 

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