Assumptions That Might Help In Turbulent Times

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Avoiding assumptions helps us all learn more and avoid misunderstandings. That said, here are some assumptions that might actually help us remain more open to the ideas and comments of other people. At the very least, they will make your day easier and less stressful.

Assume positive intent. You share an idea in a meeting and your colleague pushes back and challenges your analysis, how you framed the argument, or your conclusion. Your instinct might be to think you are being attacked. You might suspect colleague’s motive, especially if you and he/she doesn’t have a relationship built on trust. This will cause you to become defensive and possibly angry. Instead, train yourself to assume a positive intent behind such questions and comments. Assume the colleague is just genuinely curious about how you reached your conclusion and has authentic concerns about the issue. By ascribing positive motives to the question, you’ll remain calm and be better able to respond.

Assume gratitude. You’ve just sent an email responding to a colleagues’s question. You were thoughtful and deliberate and spent a decent amount of time and energy to get the answer. You receive back…silence. You expected at least a quick “THX” but got nothing. Don’t get frustrated. Just assume the colleague has a lot on his/her plate at the moment.

Assume exclamation points. Believe it or not, some of your colleagues save their excitement for things other than receiving your weekly report. When Chris sends a perfunctory “Thanks,” in response to your email, he’s being genuine. He’s grateful, not ecstatic. Exclamation points seem to be the new, “Awesome!” that became a stock response to everything a few years ago. If you have a heavy need to see “!!!!” after every mundane correspondence, just tell yourself that Chris is storing up his enthusiasm for when he talks to you on the next Zoom call and can properly thank you directly.

Assume courtesy. Some people are just plain abrupt in their emails. They leave out all of the pleasantries. It’s up to you to decide if you read their messages as barking orders at you or as trying to be helpful by minimizing the volume of content you have to read. Instead of reading the note as jarringly blunt, assume the other person’s “love language” is efficiency. Offer them some grace in terms of how you read their message, whether they deserve it or not. (And we ALL need to be extended some grace every now and then, regardless of whether we deserve it.)

And on the Flip Side:

Assume more “Thank You’s” are warranted. Emails and texts are devoid of all the subtlety of in-person communication. Your reader can’t know your mood or tone. As a result, they “fill in the blanks,” and decide whether you are being sympathetic or snarky, compassionate or callous. A few extra niceties are helpful to both your reader and you.  Say “thank you” more than you think you need to, in life as well as in emails.

Assume it won’t hurt to say “Please.” This goes along with saying, “Thank you.” The added courtesy language is important.

Assume “Fast & Furious” can be offset with the occasional “Would love to catch up.” Work relationships are still relationships. They are organic and need to be nurtured. We often email a colleague or client on a transactional basis, to simply get something done and crossed off the TO DO list. We would be better served to remind ourselves that there is a person on the other end of the exchange, someone who has valued our services and responsiveness, and who wants that human connection as much as we do.  When was the last time someone emailed you to say, “I value you and would like to know how you are doing?”?

As leaders, our jobs are to make it easier for our teams to remain productive despite turbulent times. In short, assume kindness is always in order. The assumption puts you in the right frame of mind. Then, it’s time to ask questions and listen to understand.

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